dimanche 26 octobre 2008

Rock- Kill the Messenger Part II Genius:)

"This whole election is so weird, the way they report on it, cover it, everything is so racial, racial, racial, and they have how many white people are voting? How many working class white people, how many white people over 4' 8" are voting for Barack Obama?

And the crazy thing is whenever white people vote for Obama, which is a lot of the time, they say, they listened to their issues, weighed the pros and cons and they felt that Obama spoke to their issues. And whenever black people vote for Obama, they say well, they black, he black, I guess that's why."

"Black people very excited about Barack Obama, but we're not just votin' for him cuz he's black, we're votin' for him cuz he's black and QUALIFIED. That's why we're votin for the mother-fucker. It's not like we're votin' for FLAVAH FLAV."

"We're very excited. I'll tell you this right now, white people that are here right now. If Barack Obama wins, if you have any activity in your life that involves black people that is supposed the day after election day, it will NOT get done. Election day is a Tuesday, that Wednesday don't schedule no black shit. Like if you gotta fly, ain't nobody carryin' your bags, you got to get your own motherfuckin' bags, we gotta a black president mother fucker,... shit."

Kill the Messenger - Part I - Chris Rock Genius

"This is a crazy time man... This is the time to be on stage, this is the time to do a special, cuz this is a special time. A lot is goin' on. This is the time to do a special.

(To London audience)Big election year in the United States! that's right, it ain't your election but you payin' attention, you damn right you are.

George Bush has fucked up so bad: he's made it hard for a white man to run for President.

People are like: give me a black man, a white woman, a giraffe, a zebra, anything but another white man..."

"And who do we have runnin' for President?... John McCain, 72 years old, he was too old 10 years ago! He's so old he used to own Sidney Poitier.[...] Seventy-fuckin'-TWO! You see he hired his nurse to be his vice-president too.


What the fuck is on her mind? Sarah Palin, out there shootin' mooses and shit, holdin' up the moose and shoot, I see her holdin' up a dead moose, I'm like what the fuck is Michael Vick in jail for?

My god, John McCain, how you gon' make decisions about the future when you ain't even gon' be here??!

He's old! The mother-fucker's too old.

When you die at 72, no matter what you die of, it's natural causes. Even if you get hit by a truck, it's natural causes, cuz if you was younger, you'd a got out the way."


"Who's he runnin' up against? Barack O-BAMA. (To Johannesburg) Barack O-BAMA man. Barack O-BAMA. Yes, Black man, with a black name, I know it ain't that black here, but in America that's about as black as a name could get.

Barack O-BAMA. That's right next to : Mikimbe Mtumbu. That's right Barack, man, he doesn't let his blackness sneak up on you. If his name was Bob Jones, or somethin' it might take you 2 or 3 weeks to realize he black. But as soon as you hear Barack Obama, you expect to see a brother with a SPEAR! Just standin' on top of a dead lion, like grrrrr!"

"And Barack, young brother, he's so calm and cool, sometimes I think he doesn't realize he's the black candidate, like he thinks he could win this thing fair and square, like he thinks havin' the most votes is gon' mean somethin'! Sheet... They gon' change the whole system on his black ass overnight[...] They will change all this shit, with a straight face too: "Hey man, you got the most votes, too bad you lost. That's how we used to do it. We don't really count votes too much no more." "

Hilarious SNL: Bush Endorses McCain/Palin while McCain Cringes in Pain!

dimanche 19 octobre 2008

SNL: France suffering from financial crisis too by France's "Jean K. Jean"

"Do you see evidence of financial collapse in your country?"
"Oh absolutely Amy, people are broke up in France! Brothers be eatin' pain au chocolate, without the chocolate! Just pain... Last weekend I went to the supermarche to get a bottle of Perrier, man all I could afford was a glass of tap water and a straw to blow my own bubbles, zut alors!"

Sarah Palin Makes SNL Appearance / Funny Rap and Moose Guest Star

Palin tries to offset the negative effects of Tina Fey's effective impersonations of her, by appearing on SNL Sat. Oct 18th.

vendredi 17 octobre 2008

Video shows many Americans think Obama is a Black Muslim who wants to hurt or destroy white people

"I'm afraid if he wins, the blacks will take over."

"He's not a Christian! This is a Christian nation. What is our country gonna end up like?"

"He seems like a wolf in sheep's clothing. And I believe Palin, she's filled with the holy spirit."

I would put up more quotes, but some of them are too offensive for my taste, so I prefer not to publish them (You can hear them however in the video.)

samedi 4 octobre 2008

Gad Elmaleh- Comedien Francais - "La Clope"

"La clope - c'est tellement bon[....]Je sais pas comment j'ai fait pour m'en passer pendant tant d'annees. Mais, maintenant, ca y est. J'ai reussi a commencer!"

("I don't know how I went so many years without smoking... Finally, after so long, I've finally been able to start!")

Funniest Chris Rock Stand Up from "Bigger and Blacker"

"There's some diseases they just can't help you with. You just got that shit. If you paralyzed, you go "Doc, I'm paralyzed." He goes "Ok, get yourself a chair, wheel your ass around town." "What the f**k is this? Where'm I supposed to take this, a furniture store? F**in IKEA? I didn't tell you I can't sit.. I told you I can't walk."

"Racism. Everybody's screamin' racism. Black people screamin racism. White people screamin reverse racism. Chinese people screamin' sideways racism. Indians ain't screamin' nothin' cuz they dead. That's right. Nobody got it worse than the American Indian[...] When's the last time you just saw 2 Indians just hangin' out at Red Lobster?"

Chris Rock Introduces Barack Obama at the Apollo in Harlem

Rock : "I'm looking forward to a change, somebody other than Mr. Bush [...] You know in some ways Mr. Bush's presidency has been a true success : he really didn't let us down! He was everything we thought he was going to be and WORSE."

Obama : "You'll have a President who actually believes in the Constitution."

Palin Takes Cues from Bush

Nice piece showing that Palin's debate style (never mind, extremely conservative views) is very similar to Bush's. (For example, never having studied law or perhaps even read the Constitution, she's happy to report that the Constitution actually calls for expanded VP power over the Senate- Watch out Cheney... You were just a wallflower compared to Palin !)

vendredi 3 octobre 2008

Chris Rock on McCain ("Kill the Messenger" Comedy Tour)

"72? seventy-two? That's old! How you gonna make decisions when you ain't even gonna be here?"

"Most Important Speech on Race since MLK's "I have a dream" "- True? March 18, 2008 - Obama

Like my heading suggests, people have called this the most important speech on race in the U.S. since Dr. King's "I Have a Dream" during the Civil Rights Movement.

Obama's speech is so subtle, that I will admit to needing help to truly understand its message.

Memorable quotes:

After speaking about the history of legalized segregation and slavery, Obama says it still has an effect on blacks today: "William Faulkner once wrote "The past isn't dead and buried. It isn't even past." "

"There were many who were ultimately defeated [by discrimination... ]That legacy of defeat was passed on to future generations."

"For the men and women of Rev. Wright's generation, the memories of doubt and fear have not gone away nor has the bitterness of those years."

"The fact that so many people are surprised to hear that anger in some of Rev. Wright's sermons simply reminds us of the old truism that "The most segregated hour of American life occurs on Sunday morning." "


"Meet Barack Obama" : Beginning with Landmark Speech at 2004 DNC

She Can't Name One Supreme Court Case

She Can't Name One Newspaper

What We Learn from the VP Debate: Palin's memorable moments

Hi "Joe Sixpack" & soccer moms! Isn't she cute?! And isn't cuteness what will resolve all your problems?

Who's more a part of the middle class, Palin or Biden?

Maverick, maverick maverickmaverickmaverickmaverickmaverickmaverickmaverickmaverickmaverickmaverickmaverick

Drill baby drill!

Wink wink!!

Watch the debate here: